Newsletter Number 80
July 2003
From The Sergeant Major
Dear
All
Welcome
to the latest issue of our newsletter.
Cheriton
started the season with good weather and our usual
The visit to Berwick on Tweed was well worth the long haul north. The inhabitants [even the Scots] made us very welcome, and the authentic fortifications are truly magnificent. It’s a shame that the troops were paraded in ‘that’ position waiting for the arrival of King James… it was very difficult to keep your dignity while being used as a human roundabout! The event was certainly different to the normal muster, but I for one would definitely go again.
Pip’s
hastily arranged visit to Hedgerley beer festival was a great ‘filler’ for
the late May holiday. Hundreds of unknown ales [some highly dangerous], and
excellent little displays made a very relaxing weekend. I must take Pip up on
that mild sometime!
Romford
also turned out very well. Many thanks to Chip and Erica for all the work they
put in to making the event a great success. Scorching hot weather certainly made
the skirmishes short and sweet, but it completely cleared out the sutler’s
wares! Hopefully we can return there another year.
Looking
ahead there are now several events coming into view: Blackwell’s midlands
weekend, Tyldesley’s living history, our event at Lytchett, and now others
being added to the list! Do read the various KA orders, leaflets and warning
orders with this issue: the next few months will be busy!
Yours in Loyalty,
Martin.
Editorial
First off then, I’d like to personally thank all of you that made the effort to support my little bash at Hedgerley, although we weren’t booked to do a display I’m glad we did make an effort to stroll down the slope and excite them a little bit and also to exchange pleasantries with the landlord for 12 hours a day in between times. It will be a ‘remembered muster’ for many reasons, most of them to be told in future editions of the newsletter, and I’m sure you’ve all heard of stuck trucks and broken pub chairs in the past so I won’t bore you with that yet, but the thing I shall certainly remember from Hedgerley is the verbal diarhoea that emanated from a certain teenagers mouth for at least two days of the weekend. If you needed to know anything about anything over this weekend there was a pocket battleship of drunken teenage information just waiting to be exchanged once he had a gap between pint glass and mouth to spout it from! Thank God he was drying out at Belhus Park…….…
Talking of which, congratulations to Chip and ‘Ric for
their well organised weekend in the aforementioned park over what was probably
the hottest weekend of the year so far. It was good to see so many people make
the effort to support the smaller events that are going on that take up so much
time and effort on the individual muster organiser. Also thanks are due to the
other regiments that turned out namely Lunsfords, Tydelsleys and Rawdons, they
all played their part in a very successful weekend.
If there was just one thing to moan about, it the usual old
crap I’m afraid. I don’t know if anybody has peeked inside the truck when it
is full of living history equipment, if not then I can assure you that it is
packed to the gunnels. It just seems a bit of a pity that there were only two
people to unload it on the Sunday morning, and deliver all the equipment around
the site, so that the kitchen staff and beer tent staff only had to spend a
little less time setting things up before those who had done nothing came along
and lazed around with a pint glass in their hands. I’m sure I’ve mentioned
these gripes before, if you were their on that Sunday morning I can assure you
that you would have received them first hand!
So now the musters come thick and fast, five in just over a
month should decrease anyone’s wallet by a little bit so go easy on the food
and cleaning materials and concentrate on petrol and beer money instead, you
know it make sense! Whilst we are on the subject of musters there are a few new
ones in the pipeline that seem to be mooted about at each muster, when and if
they get confirmed they will initially be posted on the web site prior to being published here.
Dates for your diary
19th
– 20th July 2003 – Misterton, Notts.
Large
Skirmish – Blackwell’s – Confirmed.
Warning
Order Enclosed
2nd
– 3rd August 2003 – Pulham, Dorset.
Living
History, Skirmish – Tydesley’s – Confirmed.
Warning
Order Enclosed
9th
– 10th August 2003 – Colchester – Confirmed.
24th
– 25th August 2003 – Lytchett Minster, Dorset.
Living
History, Skirmish – Hopton’s – Confirmed.
Warning
Order Enclosed
6th
–7th September 2003 – Corfe Castle, Dorset.
Living
History, Drill display – Hopton’s – Confirmed.
13th
– 14th September 2003 – Sheffield, West Yorkshire.
Living
History, Skirmish (History in Action type thing) – Confirmed.
10th
– 12th October 2003 – Bolingbroke Castle, Lincs.
Siege,
Living History – Confirmed.
Letters and Articles
Majorette
Presumably you have all noticed that the picture on the
front page has changed just a little, from your usual beloved Lord to a
beautiful curvaceous (blonde, naturally) Buckinghamshire Barbeque server. It
should be noted that we as a regiment bought this woman who we’ve since named
Louise for £21:00 and that part of the deal was a front cover expose on this
illustrious magazine, plus a mention as one of the officers. She didn’t think
we’d do it. Huh she doesn’t know us very well does she?
Louise was given the full Hopton treatment for the four
days over the bank holiday and every day she remained cheerful and upbeat
despite numerous lewd, rude and lecherous comments made by certain (scalpely
challenged) members of the Devonite community. In fact all of the staff during
the Beer Festival training weekend were
hospitality personified, thanks to you all, and hopefully see you again soon!
What about the weather!
What is it about our society that brings out the worst in
those weather Gods? I know we have had our good days, the last two weekends have
been wonderful (maybe the Gods were on a Greek holiday or something (Or would
that be a busmen’s holiday).
Indulge me for a few moments and let me dwell on the
miserable days of the past that instantly spring to mind as one that the Gods
used as a practice day for The Great Flood part two.
Muster Organisers (not that I speak with much experience)
if well organised can deal with most unforeseen eventualities with a smile come
grimace and a little effort, the only thing they can’t deal with effectively
is when the rain Gods are having a bit of a laugh!
It stands to reason that the worst possible time for it
rain is when the majority of people are arriving for the muster, trying to first
get into the camp site, and secondly to pull there soaking wet tents around some
broken poles whilst the wind God is falling over in apoplectic laughter and the
rain God has stopped breathing for lack of breath! Witness Alton, Lytchett and
to a certain extent Hedgerley to name but a few to prove this theory. Lytchett apart the
other two musters turned out beautiful affairs with the sun Gods benevolent
smile shining down on the massed drinking teams.
Until of course it’s time to pack up and go home! We all
know the story don’t we? As soon as you open the car boot to get the tent peg
extractor out the wind and rain Gods push sun God out of the directors chair and
spread chaos amongst those unfortunate enough to think they would be getting
their stuff home and dry.
Then of course we have the muster where every available
weather God has been invited to the producers final cut, Arrow Park is a case in
point. Arriving in temperatures high into 80s to set up a trailer tent
single-handed was obviously no fun, but at least better than pouring rain, and
one can cool down with a beer or two afterwards. The following day was just as
good, everyone up at the crack of dawn because it was too hot to sleep in the
tents (and Bully was about then!), before drill practise, then off for a days
drinking in the town in the nice cool bars. Whilst the weather overhead
(couldn’t really be anywhere else could it!) started changing, very slowly but
very surely!
The day of the muster! The morning wasn’t that bad, we
got through drill fairly happily with just a few spots to dampen the atmosphere,
and then we formed up to march off. Now! I don’t know who pissed Thor off the
night before but he was in a stinking mood and as we set off it absolutely
hammered down, with a vengeance! We took refuge in an avenue of closely drawn up
trees close to the battle site, but the rain still got through to such an extent
that within 10 minutes (of standing around) we were playing Pooh sticks with the
pikes along the avenue and in serious danger of doing someone some serious
injury with the speed that the pikes were hurtling their way past people’s
ankles who were jumping out the way at the last minute for fear of being impaled
by a pike prior to the battle itself!
At last the battle began, and of course the sun wanted to
watch didn’t it, so out it came with it’s two little mates and watched the
show down below. I was in the pike, so I can only speak for what happened to us,
but we went in for the first push, no problem, went in again, and when we came
out there was no damn air to be had. I mean it. Someone had turned off the
airflow as if it were a switch, it had to be the suns little helpers didn’t it
Master Hayfever and Mistress Wheezy. Soldiers were dropping like flies, the
audience were going mad, they had never seen such a fine re-enactment, little
did they know that we were rolling around the ground searching for breath and
fighting each other for real over the use of an inhaler!
Sir Thomas Lunsford
As we’ve been drinking and
associating with the ‘Lunsfords’ in more ways than one over the past couple of years I
thought it prudent to put you in the picture about this famous civil war
warrior. Of course you all know the ins and outs of our Lord Hopton, so lets see
how the two leaders compared then, and do they give good insights as to why we
get on so well today! First of all a picture of the man in question and straight
away you can see that these two men shared the same photographer and backdrop! A
good sign then of things to come!
Lunsford
was born in Sussex1. He was always known to be a hot head, having
attempted to kill Sir Thomas Pelham with a pistol in 1633 - although his shot
missed2.
(1We
know that Hopton was born in Wells, Somerset (very near Dodge) and that Dodge
used to live in Kent, which as if by magic borders Sussex. 2Hopton
was secretly known as ‘Hotbum Hopton’ after famously blowing himself up
interviewing prisoners whilst sitting on a powder keg, he too survived but
missed the scene of his most famous victory!)
Having
military experience from the French army and the Bishop’s Wars Lunsford used
his knowledge to support Charles throughout the Civil Wars.
(Yep!
our boss and Thomas Lunsford both served some overseas wench before fighting for
the king in this green and pleasant land).
3Lunsford
was made Governor of the Tower of London in December 1641 to replace Sir William
Balfour, a known supporter of Parliament. However, his reputation and conduct
caused the London apprentices to insult him at every opportunity, which
inevitably lead to a brawl. Parliament was outraged at the actions of Lunsford,
who was eventually removed from his post just five days after he had taken it
up.
(3Would
you believe it! Just days after Thomas got the bullet from his job at the Tower,
who came to stay as an inmate at his Majesty’s pleasure for a fortnight,
ironically for supporting him! Yes! You’ve guessed it………..Ralphy.)
Lunsford fought at Edgehill, but was
captured and imprisoned until May 1644. He continued to fight for the Royalist
cause, and was captured again at Hereford in December 1645. Released in 1648, he
emigrated to Virginia the following year where he lived until his death.
Ralphs mob never could understand these fighting shenanigans outside of
their own fair county and although a few of them tasted the fruits of success,
for the most part it was a retreating exercise until they fell conveniently into
enemy hands. For himself Ralphy surrendered at Truro in 1646 and went into exile
where he died in 1652.
All in all then, taking this in depth research to it’s logical
conclusion it would seem as if both Tom and Ralph were singularly inept at
running a tap let alone a regiment and as such should have been quartered
together at a seventeenth century Broadmoor institute. However in the interests
of historical re-enactment I would suggest that we carry on our extremely
interesting bonding exercises until Mr. Right Regiment comes along. Either that
or until the beer runs dry!
A toast to Sir Thomas Lunsford and Ralph Lord Hopton